Recently the Lord has been teaching me a lessoned that I learned a long time ago but most definately need to re-learn. I love being a mom and I have been blessed (knock on wood) with two incredibly healthy boys, that are full of life, good sleepers and all around just very joyful. Most day are awesome. I have wanted to be a mommy my whole life and most days Caden is so much fun...we have dance parties, we play drums, go on walks, play in the pool, play basketball, read books, I try to teach him a thing or two every once in a while...most of the time we genuinely enjoy eachother. Then there are the other times that are not so nastalgic...when he gets so frustrated that he hits, or kicks, or throws himself on the floor. The times where he tells mommy "NO" or screams until my insides cringe, the fact that he hates riding is his carseat...the times when he doesn't want to go to sleep or share with his friends or sit still when I really need him to. I know how this may sound to some of you; but the joy of a blog is that once in a while I can share "real life," honest moments with other mommies without the fear of being judged.
A couple days ago we were having one of our not so pleasant mornings. Caden was frustrated with me because I couldn't understand what he wanted (and I am not even sure he knew) and I was frustrated with him because we had been having a pretty tough morning. So, I started doing the only thing I know to do when it comes to parenting guidance...pray. And within seconds, the Lord brought the story of this little girl who passed away of cancer and would be Caden's age; and the story of this little boy who passed away at just 12 days old. I can think of story after story I have heard of parents losing children and it is just devestating. Those parents would give their right arm to have a "bad" day with their baby, or to have a child screaming in the carseat, or one who doesn't sleep.
I know it is SO normal to get frustrated as a parent so this post is not meant to say that I am putting all this pressure on myself (or you other mommies). It is just that I am learning that even in the tough days and the hard moments I need to be grateful that I have been blessed with babies to have tough moments with. Sometimes, I just need to take a step back and get a little perspective.
girle, I hear ya... I get through the crazy sleepless nights thinking of the sexton family and others who have lost babies. I still gripe and grumble, but at the end of the day, I'm so grateful to have a little guy to go put back to bed 10 times a night. Love you - and you are a great mommy! Dance parties, seriously??? Fun stuff.
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